Self care

'Self care is not about self-indulgence, its about self-preservation' - Audre Lorde

We live in a society that seems to find a way to invalidate peoples experiences and emotions, and cultivates insecurities to the point its almost impossible to love yourself and any inkling that you may love yourself is regarded as conceited. Of late I have seen an uprising of women promoting self love and self care, its become a trend that I hope is here to stay. The idea of practising self care is often met with scepticism and dismissed as a radical narcissistic act or a practice reserved for women only. But as humans we are all worthy of care and love.

I often find myself putting other peoples needs and desires above my own, limiting the time and energy I have to deal with my own problems. I am the type of person that carries the weight of peoples pain and problems on my shoulders. Which has left me anxious, stressed out and feeling emotionally drained. My solution lately has been to step back and prioritise my emotions, my needs and desires ahead of others. All the love and care I was pouring into others I have started to pour into myself and it has been a worthwhile practice. Its become a way to heal the wounds accumulated by attending to other people. When i have focused my attention on myself and everything I want to accomplish it has allowed me to recharge, restore and reset.

Here are some of the ways I have been regularly practising self care, which both men and women can try.

1. Unplug for 30 minutes or even an hour.

Once a day I try to put my phone on do no disturb, close my door and not talk to anyone for up to 1 hour. Usually in this time I read the bible, pray or worship but I have also read a book or had a long bubble bath. Other things to try are listening to music or meditating.

2. Get enough sleep.

Lack of sleep can affect your productivity and can also lead to health problems. Prioritise some snooze time for a healthier and more productive you.

3. Get out of town.

Maybe the budget isn't allowing for a quick trip to New York for the weekend, so why not try visiting a city or town an hour or so away on the train. Explore the city by yourself or take a loved one with you and escape the reality at home. By building new experiences it can help reshape your focus. If I could have a holiday every 4 months I definitely would, its one of the best ways  I have found to regain peace.

4. Spoil yourself!

(within reason of course) I am not one to ignore an e-mail from Missguided telling me they have a sale on, I usually already have several items in my bag already waiting for them to announce the sale/discount. Sometimes treat yourself, you are worth it. It doesn't have to be make up or clothes like me, maybe take yourself out for a nice meal, go and get your nails done or get a trim.

5. Spend time with loved ones!

In moments of stress or anxiety I have found speaking to someone from back home whether it be a friend, cousin or even my mum it has deeply comforted me.

There are 100's of other ways you can practice self care, those are just a few of my favourite methods.

Until next time.

Chengetai Victoria
xoxo