Hot topics
Faux Locs Lovin'
As I am sure some of you have already seen on my instagram ( @lightofmindx ) and snapchat ( Chengssss) I recently got Crotchet faux locs and I am loving them. As with most change, this hairstyle came with a new alter ego. I am feeling very sassy to say the least!
The hair is from Umona Hair ( Instagram @umonahair) and it was installed by hairdresser, Sacha, ( Instagram @hairbysacha_). The hair was £7.00 a pack, I bought 5 packets, however, this was NOT enough and I would advise people to buy 6 packets minimum. The hair is very delicate and can get caught very easily but other than that it imitates dreadlocks very well. Be warned, they are very heavy, it will give your neck a work out but that's the price you pay to look good, I suppose. The hair is synthetic and 18inches in the colour black.
For those who may not know what crotchet is, it is a hair styling technique that started all the way back in the 90's. The technique involves braiding the hair extension into your own hair using a latch hook tool. Sacha started by cornrowing my hair, the braid pattern was very simple, with the front part of my hair consisting of several lines running from my hair line to the back of my head, to allow me to switch my parting as I please. Its a very quick and simple technique and a great protective style!
I have been using the Eyoko ( Instagram @eyokohair ) hair butter to moisturise my scalp, which is so light and hasn't made me feel like I need to wash my hair, whilst preventing my scalp from feeling dry and itchy. It is made from all natural and organic ingredients such as coconut oil, mango seed butter, avocado oil and shea butter. I will be using it on my actual hair as soon as I take these out, which will be next month when I will be on holiday. So stay tuned.
All I can say is be prepared for a lot more selfies.
Until next time!
Chengetai Victoria
xoxo
I'm not here for patriarchal practices
Patriarchal practices shape and encourage gender inequality in a many households, including but not limited to African and Asian families. Being Zimbabwean, I have witnessed this in Shona families and will refer mostly to my experiences and observations.
The family is the first place that children are socialised to accept patriarchal practices. Girls and boys are taught to adopt different roles, with the boy child being socialised to view himself as the head of the household, in comparison to the girl child who is socialised to accept the role of the submitter, always striving to please the 'man/men of the house.'
From my observation,in Shona households as soon as the girl child reaches puberty, sometimes earlier, she is taught skills such as cooking, cleaning etc as things she is expected to thrive at, yet the same lessons are not taught to the boy child, and when they are they are taught with a greater leniency as this is not something he is required to know. I believe these ideas can be problematic, for the girl child's self esteem if she lives her life seeking approval from men and believing herself to be below men as opposed to equal, which can lead to problems in her romantic relationships as an adult. I am a believer of the equal distribution of labour and believe that everyone should pull their weight, however, I disagree with gender division of labour. The culture also expresses leniency on male sexual behaviour, allowing boys to be sexual beings, whilst the worth of a girl decreases if she shows similar sexual behaviour to the boy child, her worth being equated to the amount of ‘mombe yechimandara’ that her future husband is supposed to pay. If a girl equates her value to how many men she has slept with or hasn't it creates a culture of shame and guilt around sex and sexuality.
I have been in various social settings where the women will congregate in the kitchen and cook whilst the men lounge around watching football etc., when it is time for dinner it is the women who kneel before the men with a dish and jug of water so they can wash their hands, it is also the women who kneels as she hands the man her food and again she kneels as he washes his hands having finished eating the meal the women cooked. At no point have I ever seen men then go and clean up in the kitchen having just been fed nor have I seen men kneel before women to reciprocate. Often after a certain age, approx 16 years, the boy child assumes a similar position as the men whilst their female counter parts are in the kitchen, I feel that leads to boys growing up with misogynistic expectations and beliefs.
I have been in various social settings where the women will congregate in the kitchen and cook whilst the men lounge around watching football etc., when it is time for dinner it is the women who kneel before the men with a dish and jug of water so they can wash their hands, it is also the women who kneels as she hands the man her food and again she kneels as he washes his hands having finished eating the meal the women cooked. At no point have I ever seen men then go and clean up in the kitchen having just been fed nor have I seen men kneel before women to reciprocate. Often after a certain age, approx 16 years, the boy child assumes a similar position as the men whilst their female counter parts are in the kitchen, I feel that leads to boys growing up with misogynistic expectations and beliefs.
As a woman moves from her mother and fathers house, her groom must first pay lobola, a bride price, to her family. This is a tradition which is set as a respectful gesture to the womans family, the money from the lobola can then be given to the son to use when he wishes to get married. Whilst I understand the significance of the act, I can't help but feel it further places women in a subordinate role and degrades women to acquired property as opposed to an equal of their groom. The Zimbabwe demographic health survey showed the prevalence of gender based violence stood at 47% amongst women, with only 13% seeking help from police following violence. I don't think this is a coincidence and I believe it is because women are viewed as property of men in the household and subhuman. The low percentage of women who actually seek suggests that domestic violence is something that women and society view as the norm. Domestic violence is not the only crisis in Zimbabwe, between June and October of 2014, 4,379 cases of rape were reported according to a Former woman's affair minister, Oppah Muchinguri. This disgustingly high number has led me to believe that the up bringing of men has socialised them to feel entitled to a woman's body,amongst many other reasons. Looking at other countries in Africa, things are not always different for example in Algeria, Tunisia and Morocco, the laws let rapists get away with rape if they marry their victims.
In conclusion, I think its time we had a conversation and question the way things are rather than just accept that how things are.More men are needed to challenge these patriarchal practices and get involved in the conversation. I believe a lot of men as well as women, have grown to accept the status quo and do not see men and women as equal.
Feel free to comment or message me with your thoughts. I am open to learning and adapting accordingly, so feel free to message me.
Until next time
Chengetai Victoria
xoxo
My hair journey! + some tips
Some people have been asking how I grew my hair or how I transitioned so here it is. I hope its helpful and feel free to message me for any other hair tips!September 2013
September 2013 was the the last time I relaxed my hair, so that I could leave my hair out at the front when I got my weave installed. My hair has never been particularly long and during this time it was approximately above my shoulder in length. Around this time I made the decision to stop relaxing my hair after being inspired by images of women with long, voluminous natural hair. |
| May 2014. (I'm on the left) My hair was still relaxed and heavily heat damaged. |
June 2014
Between September 2013 and June 2014 I wore a lot of weaves and braids whilst I was growing out the relaxer in my hair. I still had all the relaxed ends but it was becoming increasingly difficult to comb through the full length of my hair and to be honest my hair just did not look healthy with my roots being very kinky and coily, whilst my ends were dead straight and would flop over when wet instead of curling. One evening, quite spontaneously, I grabbed a pair of scissors and chopped off more than 3/4 of my hair. I was pretty excited about the potential growth of my hair. For the next year and a half I pretty much alternated between braids, wigs and weaves, which is what I believe to be responsible for the considerable growth of my hair. I would deep condition and wash it in between each hair style as well as moisturise my scalp whilst I had the protective style in. As you can see from the picture below, I did not cut my hair evenly whatsoever, and there are some straight hair strands remaining at the top but it doesn't have to be a professional job. |
| September 2014 |
February 2016
By now there had been some significant growth and I felt more comfortable wearing my hair out. Though looking back I wish I hadn't worn so many protective styles in the beginning and embraced the very short length I had. I see so many beautiful women rocking the short hair styles, I would have loved to rock the finger wave hairstyle.I started being more consistent with my hair routine, which included washing and deep conditioning my hair once a week. I Only used shampoo once a month and washed my hair with conditioner, which is also known as co-washing, weekly. I would also use the WOC method, pretty much every day, this consists of spraying the hair with water so its slightly damp, adding my oil of choice to and a moisturising cream to lock in the moisture, before either putting my hair into braids or twists and wrapping my head. This really kept my hair moisturised and has helped my hair grow between Feburary and October 2016, though it would have grown a lot faster had I worn more protective styles and manipulated it less.
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| February 2016. |
Present day
Currently I am slacking in terms of washing my hair regularly, however, during the week I keep my hair corn rowed and wear a wig, so I have minismised the amount of times I manipulate my hair and I also make sure to try and moisurise my cornrows a few times during the week because they can become very dry. Stretched out my hair is about bra strap length now (eek!) but my aim is about waist length, so I will probably continue on as I have been going and try my best to stick to my routine.
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| October 2016 |
8 tips for growing your hair!
- Snip off any dead ends! This doesn't necessarily mean doing the big chop, you can just trim your hair as you go along if you prefer that.
- Minimise manipulation of your hair! Though my hair has grown in the last 9 months, the growth rate would have been greater had I played around with it less, and worn more protective styles.
- MOISTURISE! MOISTURISE! MOISTURISE! Even when your hair is in braids, or under a wig or weave keep that hair moisturised and scalp clean! Try not to keep each hairstyle for more than 3 months and deep condition!
- Stick to your routine! I won't lie and say I have always kept to my routine, I am human and I get lazy especially on wash days because it really does take an entire day. Being lazy with your routine or lack of care will leave your hair growth stagnant, which I am trying to avoid.
- Wrap your hair before you go to sleep or use a satin pillow case to avoid breakage or dryness.
- Minimise heat! I do blow dry my hair if I need to dry it quickly and when I do I use heat protector. I don't believe it is practical to tell people to never use heat because some hair styles will need blow dried hair or a curling wand. I would just advise not to do it frequently and use heat protector when you do.
- Leave those edges alone! I, like most of us, am a lover of sleek and gelled edges but our poor edges do need a break and some tender loving care. Be careful with wigs, braids and weaves as they can take a toll on our edges.
- Take loads of pictures of your journey! One thing i regret is not taking enough pictures from the very beginning.
Until next time!
Chengetai Victoria
Protests don't work
Over the last few days there have been several protests in the US and here in the UK following the brutal murders of innocent black men and women by police. A few times this week and throughout the year I have logged into twitter and have been met with several videos of a black man/women being tackled and shot or killed in custody. Someone will ask me if i have heard about the shootings and instead of gasping my automatic response has changed to 'which one?'. We are being desensitised to seeing black people being killed or seeing dead black bodies. Yet when police officers are killed images of their dead bodies or videos of their murder aren't being shoved down our throats. Unlike the black men and women, the police officers are being respected. To me this shows me that its an issue with mentality and this cannot be changed through protesting.
I believe the reason for these shooting is because black people in society are viewed as something to fear, even black people fear black people or look down on them. A young black man in a hoody or in stereotypical 'thug' clothing is viewed as a threat. I won't lie to you if I see a group of black boys dressed in tracksuits or with jeans hanging low I will probably cross the road or call a friend in fear. This isn't something I'm proud of but I've internalised these stereotypes and automatically assume that they are up to no good and that I need to get away from them immediately. Until we undo the stereotypes we have internalised and begin to view black people as human beings nothing will change. There is no such thing as 'he looked like a criminal'
The real Eve
The black woman, the real Eve: scientists have traced all DNA back to one African woman millions of years ago. They have gone on to say how woman came before man and not the other way around as suggested in religious literature. The black woman is at the top of the ancestry family tree yet in todays society she is fetishized, disrespected and the most unprotected. Their bodies are deemed as less than human, the world loves their features yet hates the black woman carrying them.Modern beauty standards rely on almost unattainable ideals but still rest upon the exploitation and appropriation of black women's bodies.Whilst black women have been said to be more satisfied with their bodies than white women, I still believe that to be a black woman in this society is to be in a constant battle to love yourself. The expectations of society weigh heavily on black women to have a certain body type, with the media portraying images of black women either hyper-sexualised as a video vixen or borderline obese as the mammies, which does not represent the wide spectrum of body shapes that black women come in. Research has suggested that young black girls may wish to gain weight and bigger girls consider themselves more attractive to boys. The hyper-sexualisation of black female body is not new, in the 19th century Sarah Saartjie Baartman was displayed to be viewed by the public and now there is the persistent stereotype of the black women with an invisible waist, ample derrière and sexually voracious in music videos, on TV and social media. The internalisation of these negative stereotypes has been found to correlate positively with low self esteem and psychological distress.
Research has been found that black girls have less drive for thinness, additionally they are most likely to feel happier when they are at a heavier weight. This has led to women seeking butt augmentation and other unnatrual ways achieve their desired body shape.
I end this post offering a solution and hoping to inspire black women to take a move 'oppositional gaze' towards images black bodies as suggested by Bell Hooks. This requires us to challenge, deconstruct these images and reflect a more positive and accurate representation.
Be yourself, be proud of your body and look no further than your reflection to find the perfect body.
These images are my statement of self love. I may not be the Nicki Minajs or Lira Galore of this world but I'm me and that is my power. You are you and that is your power.
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A friend from Uni mentioned how she feels that the best way for any change to occur is by boycotting white businesses. A good example being the Montgomery bus boycotts. On 1st December 1955 Rosa Parks refused to give her seat up for a white man on a Montgomery bus, this was back when there was racial segregation on the public transit system of Montgomery, Alabama. As a result she was fined and arrested. 4 days later African Americans began to boycott public buses in Montgomery, this was massively effective because the black community represented at least 75% of Montgomery's bus ridership. So imagine the money the buses in Montgomery lost. This lasted around 381 days and on 21st December 1956 Montgomery buses were integrated, which was a huge victory. Whilst it may be difficult to completely boycott all white owned businesses, I think by buying from black owned businesses when we can and really supporting and helping the black community prosper we can make a difference.
Riots aren't what we need, they will only make us look bad in the eyes of the law, worse than how they already look at us that is. Protests raise awareness of a huge issue and show unity but all these protests will vanish from the headlines with minimal government response but no major political reforms.
My ideas are clearly not full-proof and a lot more would still need to be done but its a start right?
Let me know what you guys think.
Until next time,
Chengetai Victoria x
DRAKE IS LOWKEY A MISOGYNIST
So I'm writing this post following a conversation I had with a friend about Drake. This friend of mine stated how she felt drake is a feminist. When this so-called friend of mine said this I questioned our entire friendship, for me this was the end and I was ready to start holding interviews to fill the position. Don't get me wrong I LOVE Drake and his music but you have to admit his music is lowkey, high key misogynistic.
Its practically tradition for rappers to be blatantly misogynistic and slut shame,yet we glaze over it when Drake does it.
Sexism has meant Drake has been labelled as a 'soft' guy and has been the butt of many jokes about masculinity, all of which I disagree with, though I can't lie I have laughed at one too many times of these jokes. Throughout mainstream media black male bodies are hyper-sexualised such that when black men allow their vulnerability to show they are perceived to be feminine-like because of the preconceived notions about how they should act. I feel like this allows him to get away with some of the misogyny in his music. This is not to say that Drake is overly sexist, but he is obsessed with idea of a 'good girl'. The 'good girl' seems like a backhanded compliment. If we look at lyrics in Hotline Bling, throughout the song Drake is condemning the poor girl for going out and her wardrobe choices. In Drakes opinion it seems that 'good girls' are meant to stay at home not talking to any other guy or hang out with new people, waiting for Drake to come back. The good girl is a recurring character in Drakes music this 'good girl' is mentioned in 'Hold on we're going home' and 'Mine'. He's not the only rapper to be fetishsized in rap/pop music for example Kanye mentions that 'one good girl is worth a thousand b*tches'
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| Could Rihanna be his good girl? |
Its unrealistic to say I am never going to listen or dance to a Drake song again but I won't let the catchy beat or his embarrassing dad dance moves distract me from what he's really saying.Until next time,
Chengetai Victoria.
Until recently I have always felt apprehensive about wearing my natural hair out as opposed to chemically straightening it or wearing weaves. In June 2013 I made the brave decision to cut all my hair off and basically start again but it was only February of this year that I felt confident enough to actually wear my naturally kinky hair out and this is massively because of the naturalistas I've seen all over social media as part of the natural hair movement.
I believe that internalised racism is one of the main reasons that women and even men ( yes, I see you men chemically straightening your hair) have been too embarrassed to embrace the hair that God gave them. Internalised racism is a form of systematic oppression where people of colour are unconsciously supporting white power and privilege. In this society where racial prejudice thrives in communities and popular culture it is inevitable that minorities will absorb racist messages that constantly bombard them. Its quite common for POCs to adopt a white supremacist mindset and this results in self loathing and hatred of characteristics that distinguish you as a black or Asian person, for example skin colour or hair texture.
I was really encouraged by the images of other women wearing their natural hair out so here are some of mine I hope they inspire you and squash the notion that only loosely curled hair, found on those of mixed ancestry, is beautiful.
I won't lie and say I'm never going to wear a weave or wig again but I will definitely never chemically straighten my hair again and I will question myself whether the change I want to make to my physical appearance is to enhance my natural features or to meet an unrealistic white standards of beauty.
So unless you live under a rock you will know that Beyonce blessed us all this weekend with her music video for Formation. The video is so iconic! It has so many powerful images; the little black boy dancing in front of a line of police officers, ''stop shooting us'' is spray painted onto the wall and of course the police car drowning in Katrina with the Queen atop it. The video isn't only about police brutality, its about the entire black experience. Self esteem, civil rights and racism Beyonce confronted it all!
I remember not long ago, in June 2014, there was a petition for Beyonce to comb Blue Ivy's hair. Curly/Afro hair has always been seen as inferior to European hair. It has has always been described as 'bad hair' and its only recently that kinky hair is slowly being embraced in main stream media. While it may seem trivial to many, but having Blue and the other women in the video parade their afros will have a massive impact on the self esteem of young kinky haired girls everywhere. She's represented an underepresented group and made it look effortlessly cool and beautiful. I am obsessed with how B bombarded us with black girls of all different shapes and shades with their natural hair out! In response to the ridiculous petition directed at a young child Beyonce told everyone that she likes her baby hair with baby hair and afros. In addition to this she also likes her mans broad nose and she earned all her own money and the illuminati has nothing to do with it.
''Ok, ladies, now lets get in formation, cause I slay''
Beyonce is calling on all strong women of all complexions and curl patterns to unite and slay. Feel empowered and inspired ladies.
COLOURISM
ˈkʌlərɪz(ə)m/
noun
- The prejudice and discrimination against individuals of a darker skin tone, typically among the same ethnic group.
I have been looking into colourism which is prominent in both black and Asian communities. Colourism is very insidious and is something that a lot of people of colour will experience or witness.
I think a lot of people try to downplay colourism, claiming ‘it’s just banter’ but how can we joke around at the expense of young Asian and black girls bleaching their skin and hating their reflection. A lot of young girls and boys, including myself at one point, have felt inadequate purely because they can’t live up to society's standard of beauty. I’m sure I’m not the only black woman who is tired of hearing ‘you’re pretty for a black girl’, ‘I don’t usually go for black girls but...’ or being completely overlooked and ignored when out and about with mixed race girl friends *rolls eyes*
Colourism is a legacy of slavery that placed lighter skinned/ mixed race slaves above darker skinned slaves. Colourism has even been exported to Asia and Africa. There are people who want to marry someone light skinned or white so their babies can have ‘good hair’ and light skin. Essentially they want to breed the black out because they’re afraid that their children will go through what they have experienced being dark skinned, so they think this is the best way to protect them against discrimination. In developing countries being light skinned can be seen as the route out of poverty.
Black girls are being celebrated especially with hash tags such as #blackgirlsrock and #blackgirlmagic. It’s so beautiful to see an abundance of melanin on my phone screen! I would love to see the same for Asian women.
So perhaps 2016 can be the year colourism ends. Whilst we may differentiate against each other racism does not. We're all dark men and women. So lets stop this prejudice and discrimination in our own communities. Everyone should be comfortable in their own skin.
''Don't let the glaring whiteness blind you from the beauty that you are''
Your melanin pops severely.
Cultural appropriation
When I first typed in cultural appropriation Google told me that it is ‘the adoption or use of elements of one culture by members of a different culture.’ However, I don’t think this fully explains the concept but confuses cultural appropriation and exchange. Amandla Stenberg said it best when she said:
‘’Appropriation occurs when a style leads to racist generalizations or stereotypes where it originated but is deemed as high-fashion, cool or funny when the privileged take it for themselves. Appropriation occurs when the appropriator isn’t aware of the significance of the culture they are partaking in.’’
In 2015 we saw the rise of the big booty, big lips, white people with ‘Afros’ and braids, there were even gelled down baby hairs on the runway. Fashion icons and celebrities such as Kylie jenner and Kim Kardashian are being praised whilst black people have been shamed for years over these same attributes. So essentially what they are saying is black features are beautiful, however, black people are not. I personally think sharing culture is a good thing, I just don’t think white people should be able to take credit from it and benefit whilst black people are still being penalised for it.
But cultural appropriation is not all about Kylie Jenners braids and silicone lips. If you’ve ever been to a Halloween party or seen images from Coachella you will probably be aware of cultural appropriation. Wearing something with significant cultural and religious background is cultural appropriation for example wearing Bindis or native American head dresses and using it out of its cultural context. Dressing up as a person of another race is racist. Some how people forget that someone else's culture is not a costume.
Overall, dressing up as a person of another race is racist. Some how people forget that someone else's culture is not a costume.
Let us not confuse cultural exchange and cultural appropriation, though the line between the two can be pretty blurry. I will talk about cultural exchange in next week's post.
Let us not confuse cultural exchange and cultural appropriation, though the line between the two can be pretty blurry. I will talk about cultural exchange in next week's post.
Let me know what you guys think!
#representationmatters
Representation matters part 2.
We spoke to 21 year old Vietnamese male who would like to remain anonymous:
Nope, I think Asian men are not portrayed in a good light in the media. Even more so Asian men like me who grew up in poorer areas of London who have been influenced quite a lot by black culture. I can't really relate to much of the Asian people I see on TV. The media doesn't portray Asian men in a good light. The same thing with black women I think.
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#representationmatters
Part 1
I read somewhere that ‘’If she can’t see it she can’t be it’ and I could not agree more. Representation is so important, the wrong type of representation or lack there of can be detrimental to how people perceive themselves or how society perceives that group. In order to find out how people felt about the UK's representation of ethnic groups my friend, Sara, and I went to Oxford Street, London, and asked a few people. It was also interesting to see whether people were actually aware of the issue.
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@sara_najim
I feel like there is not much representation in UK media as it is, but where people of colour are represented, it's usually a negative representation. I find it impossible to even think of anyone, public figure or fictional character, shown on TV that i can really 'relate' to fully, as a middle eastern muslim. Usually, the muslims shown are either asian or white converts, and their appearances serve an ulterior purpose of merging their own culture with islam, for example in documentaries such as "Welcome to the Mosque". Also, when they do show a muslim on a TV show, it's often to highlight differences in their way of life to the other, 'normal' white characters. Such as a character being forced into an arranged marriage, or having to hide their relationships and social life from their parents. This perpetuates the narrative of muslims as an "other" in society, a group who cannot integrate with the rest of the population. I don't think I have ever seen a middle eastern or an arab in the media before, so I can't really comment on that. I definitely think the media should change the current representation of people of colour, in order to educate the general public, break down stereotypes and provide us with realistic depiction of different groups in society.
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@mrjasonchin :
Personally i don't think so. I think representation of ethnic minority is not a clear depiction of us as a people. There is representation but the representation is marginalised. Black people are usually shown as a light woman or mixed woman with a dark skinned man or white man. You don't see the holistic black family. so we’re not being represented as a whole. there are no black woman with black man. It puts inferior concepts of black imagery in the minds of people. For truthful imagery there needs to be wholesome families not just black guys in hoodies that rap. They need to show there are black people with degrees and masters and PhDs. We come in all cloths and fabrics. I don't think the imagery is a true, full representation.
Positive imagery in terms of how we represent various people. Not just black people but Arabs especially of what going on in the world. honest depictions of Muslims. Just because there are a few people that a radicalised that doesn’t represent all of the Islamic communities. So when it comes to the ethnic minority groups I think it just need to be a true honest depiction of us as a whole. White people are seen as the norm. When you read tabloids it never reads ‘this white man committed a crime’ it will just say a man called bob or harry committed a crime so it makes them seem like they are not subhuman they are the norm. So when it's an Arab man or black man if they belong to a religion they have to throw that in there when they do this they characterise them as subhuman.
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| @vita_mind:
No I actually think the way the media does portray the people of my ethnicity is not positive. I think that the way brown bodies are portrayed they are either demonised or over sexualised and there is no in between. Marlene Dumas did a really great exhibition at Tate looking at the way black bodies are sexualised inherently even models.
I think there should be more spaces for women of colour and i think it's inherent in the structure of society that people from the global south are portrayed badly. so unless we take charge of the way we are portrayed things are never going to change.
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@zandilelungah:
I think there is this lazy stereotyping where the black girls will be over the top, so when someone's not like that it's because they're acting white and not acting black. Sometimes there is the other side where they try to avoid that but that will get criticism for not being a true representation. With black women they are either not ghetto enough or they're too ghetto and too loud or not loud enough.
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