From my observation,in Shona households as soon as the girl child reaches puberty, sometimes earlier, she is taught skills such as cooking, cleaning etc as things she is expected to thrive at, yet the same lessons are not taught to the boy child, and when they are they are taught with a greater leniency as this is not something he is required to know. I believe these ideas can be problematic, for the girl child's self esteem if she lives her life seeking approval from men and believing herself to be below men as opposed to equal, which can lead to problems in her romantic relationships as an adult. I am a believer of the equal distribution of labour and believe that everyone should pull their weight, however, I disagree with gender division of labour. The culture also expresses leniency on male sexual behaviour, allowing boys to be sexual beings, whilst the worth of a girl decreases if she shows similar sexual behaviour to the boy child, her worth being equated to the amount of ‘mombe yechimandara’ that her future husband is supposed to pay. If a girl equates her value to how many men she has slept with or hasn't it creates a culture of shame and guilt around sex and sexuality. 

I have been in various social settings where the women will congregate in the kitchen and cook whilst the men lounge around watching football etc., when it is time for dinner it is the women who kneel before the men with a dish and jug of water so they can wash their hands, it is also the women who kneels as she hands the man her food and again she kneels as he washes his hands having finished eating the meal the women cooked. At no point have I ever seen men then go and clean up in the kitchen having just been fed nor have I seen men kneel before women to reciprocate. Often after a certain age, approx 16 years, the boy child assumes a similar position as the men whilst their female counter parts are in the kitchen, I feel that leads to boys growing up with misogynistic expectations and beliefs.

As a woman moves from her mother and fathers house, her groom must first pay lobola, a bride price, to her family. This is a tradition which is set as a respectful gesture to the womans family, the money from the lobola can then be given to the son to use when he wishes to get married. Whilst I understand the significance of the act, I can't help but feel it further places women in a subordinate role and degrades women to acquired property as opposed to an equal of their groom. The Zimbabwe demographic health survey showed the prevalence of gender based violence stood at 47% amongst women, with only 13% seeking help from police following violence. I don't think this is a coincidence and I believe it is because women are viewed as property of men in the household and subhuman. The low percentage of women who actually seek suggests that domestic violence is something that women and society view as the norm. Domestic violence is not the only crisis in Zimbabwe, between June and October of 2014, 4,379 cases of rape were reported according to a Former woman's affair minister, Oppah Muchinguri. This disgustingly high number has led me to believe that the up bringing of men has socialised them to feel entitled to a woman's body,amongst many other reasons. Looking at other countries in Africa, things are not always different for example in Algeria, Tunisia and Morocco, the laws let rapists get away with rape if they marry their victims.

In conclusion, I think its time we had a conversation and question the way things are rather than just accept that how things are.More men are needed to challenge these patriarchal practices and get involved in the conversation. I believe a lot of men as well as women, have grown to accept the status quo and do not see men and women as equal.

Feel free to comment or message me with your thoughts. I am open to learning and adapting accordingly, so feel free to message me.